When I First Fell For You
by Strictly Anonymous
Summary: An anonymous complement letter must be written by every high schooler at North Park High. Things happen and Kyle is left speechless before he even receives his letter. Cartman, on the other hand,  has plenty to of stuff to share with Kyle. 1st KYMAN, R&R.
1. Falling For You

**This is my very first FF let alone Kyman! I love Kyman. I hope it's good though because it took forever and it's the first chapter. Tell me what you guys think(:**

**Summary: An anonymous complement letter must be written by every high schooler at North Park High. Things happen and Kyle is left speechless before he even receives his letter. Kyman.**

**Pairings: KYMAN**

**Unfortunately****, I do not own South Park ):**

**Enjoy! (By the way this story is in Kyle's POV)**

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><p><strong><span>When I First Fell For You<span>**

**Chapter 1:**

**Falling For You**

'_Ugh! I hate Mondays and that's coming from me, a kid with straight A's and has no problems __involving school whatsoever….besides the most self centered, anti-Semitic, sociopath, racist asshole I ever met! He is ALWAYS on my mind. The boy I used to very well once call "Fatass", well actually I still do call him that but I no longer actually mean it. He certainly isn't fat anymore. He still has a hint of baby fat, but I honestly think that makes him that much cuter. I'm not going to lie, he is attractive. He has been asked out a few times the past three years of high school by girls who don't really know him. For some reason he has said no to each and every one of them, though i don't really know why. He always uses the same excuses like "she isn't my type", or "she's just a whore." On the other hand, the girls that do know him have never asked him out and that's probably because they know how big of an asshole he really is.'_

_'Throughout the years he has really shot up in height. Now as a junior in high school, he is at least 6'. In middle school he had to join the football team in order to pass some class because one of his teacher was also the football coach. Surprisingly his fatass was good at it. He stuck with it and still plays. With all the years of football he managed to slim down. Now also __with the little baby fat he has muscles. So, so, sooooo __much muscle, but not were its at the point were its just gross. He doesn't have nearly as much muscle as Stan, but Cartman's muscles are just the right amount. He doesn't have too much nor too little. He has totally hot killer abs. I would know…I've seen them a few times. Like in the locker room getting ready for gym class or all the times when some of my friends and I went swimming and he was there...shirtless… hmm…'_

_'...Yes it's true, I am in fact gay. I wasn't really surprised when I found out. I remembered reading somewhere when I was in elementary school that one in ten people are gay. The day I read that I thought of all the boys in our class and tried to figure out who might actually be gay. That left me with myself, Cartman and Butters. I figured that there very well could have been two gay boys in our class since there were more than ten boys, so two out of the three of us would most likely be gay. I asked Butters and he said he wasn't gay. I didn't believe him but ever since the fourth grade he has been trying to get a girlfriend though none of the girls seemed to like him.'_

_'The more I observed Cartman the more he showed no signs of being neither straight nor gay. He didn't check out girls or guys. He was just so caught up in his own Goddamn plans to ridicule me! Ugh!'_

_'Anyway while I was observing Cartman it finally dawned on me that I was gay and did have a crush on him. Yes I did have __a crush on the person I thought I hated most in this world. It wasn't until high school that my little crush wasn't so little. I understand when you have a crush and you're always thinking about that person but mines more of an obsession. When he isn't __at the bus stop on time I mentally freak out thinking the worst for his being. His insults are now actually getting to me. Him ripping on me for being Jewish and constantly belittling my people, making fun of my hair and calling me a daywalker, referring to my speeches about what I learned that day as "Kahl's little gay annoying speeches", always commenting on my "faggy clothes" and constantly saying I look like a girl. I don't think it helps that I no longer wear my old green hat even though Cartman used to made fun of that as well. Now my hair ends about an inch under my ears __and have bangs that really pop out my green eyes since my hair is red. He says that screams gay. Also I don't think being 5'2 and only weighing 100 pounds helps me look more like a guy. ERRRR!'_

_'Um anyways what was I thinking about again? Probably something to do with Cartman…..no shit it be something about Cartman he's all I think about now of days…..hmmm….oh right! I also had to start watching my eyes because they are always on him. Whenever he catches me looking at him, do you know what he calls me? Jewfag. I kept telling him I only watch him to make sure he isn't planning something terrible against me because it won't be the first time and that I don't trust him…though I think he is catching on.'_

_'I wouldn't be too surprised if he knew I liked him though. I mean I did come out of the closet last year, well thanks to Cartman of course. It was the beginning of Sophomore Year and Stan was having a sleepover and unfortunately for me Cartman was sick. I would much rather have him there…..he just looks so…peaceful when sleeping. But also because if he was there that night there was no way in hell I was going to tell my friends I was gay with him there. Well Butters was there and of course he went and told Cartman. Then Cartman went and did what Cartman does best and told the whole fucking school. Seriously that's just fucked up. I mean look who's talking, I'm thinking to myself like there's someone else listening. That's pretty fucked up too man! But what an asshole! That was really personal. I mean what kind of person does that. How could I be attracted to someone like that? I don't even understand it. Ugh he's such a fucking asshole it's actually unbeli-'_

"Now class, it's time to start our anonymous complement letters to help kids with their self-esteem problems. I honestly think it's a stupid idea but the school is making me do it because some of you have _'problems'_. So will everyone come grab a name from this jar quietly? I'll be back in a few minutes." Mr. Garrison said then left the classroom.

Everyone got out of their seats, some faster than others (well technically the girls ran to the jar in the front of the classroom while the rest of the boys and myself groaned and made are way to the front slowly).

As my hand grabs a small folded paper from the jar I can't help but wonder who I might get and praying to God I'll get someone that won't be hard to actually throw a few good complements at. I slowly make my way to my seat while staring at the small paper in my hand. Suddenly I trip over someone's foot trying to hurry and get a name from the jar before there all gone. I trip and close my eyes and throwing my hands in front of me as a reflex but they pressed up against something that saves my fall. Though I feel it a bit unbalanced I feel better knowing I'm not going to fall. Then another student shoves me. That's when it all goes wrong. The thing that saved me and I were already unbalanced but the extra shove sent me flying forward. The fall was fast but surprisingly not hard. The thing took all the impact. I open my eyes to see what I'm lying on top of to be face to face with no one other than Eric Cartman.


	2. Problems On Top Of Perfection

**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews. I have so much planned for this story and I can't tell all of you how excited I am about it. Hope you enjoy chapter two. R&R(:**

**Summary: An anonymous complement letter must be written by every high schooler at North Park High. Things happen and Kyle is left speechless before he even receives his letter. Kyman.**

**Pairings: KYMAN**

**Unfortunately****, I do not own South Park ):**

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><p><strong>WARNINGS: IN THIS CHAPTER KYLE HAS NAUGHTY THOUGHTS ABOUT CARTMAN AND KENNY SHOWS HOW MUCH MORE PERVERTED HE HAS BECOME SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.<strong>

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><p><strong><strong>SPECIAL: VIEW MY PROFILE! The photo on it is EXACTLY what is described at the beginning of this chapter! Helps with the imagery, which i, myself find very helpful, soooooooooooo GO CHECK IT OUT(:<strong>**

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><p><strong><span>When I First Fell For You<span>**

**Chapter 2:**

**Problems On Top**** Of Perfection**

Eric Theodor Cartman. That's the name of the boy I'm lying right on top of. Our faces are less than two inches away with our noses barely touching. My eyes are stuck to his. I can't find it in me to pull back and look away no matter how hard I try.

'_His eyes are just out-of-this-world. Oh God that sounded really gay, but just look at them! I knew they were this beautiful but seeing them like this, closer than I ever have before is just beyond compare. I never thought brown eyes were that pretty but Cartman's eyes are obviously the exception to that.'_

_'All my life I have always liked blue eyes and when I was younger I thought that one day I would be married to a nice Jewish girl with light blue eyes. __Now of days, I would literally give up anything to have that completely opposite for my future. A boy that's a rude asshole and an anti-Semitic nazi with dark brown eyes. In other words, I would literally give up anything to just have Eric Cartman.'_

_'It seems eyes have always been the first thing I notice about a person. Cartman's eyes are by far the best pair of eyes I have ever encountered. The only word to ever fit the description of his eyes is perfect...'_

All of a sudden, while looking into his perfect eyes, I get an unanticipated and unexpected urge to kiss him. His lips are so close to mine I can feel him breathing right onto my own pair of lips.

_'Right now, more than anything, I want to close the gap between our lips. Right now, more than anything, I just want to flat out kiss him.__I don't care if it only lasts a few seconds. I don't care if he'll end up beating me up for it later. So what if people start to make fun of me for kissing a guy that doesn't have the same feelings for me as I feel for him. Who cares if people make fun of me for kissing Cartman? Who cares about any of that when his lips are so damn close to mine?'_

'…_Wait! Why the fuck is he staring into my eyes too? Shouldn't he be yelling at me to get of him and calling me a fag or something? Oh no, I bet everyone's staring at us right now. Please God, I don't ask for much but please, just this once help me out. Have him say something so he can distract me from looking into his eyes. Seriously anything he says at this point will be good. Better yet just have him look away so I can drop this undesirable gaze.'_

A smirk slowly creeps up onto Cartman's face. "Jew, don't you know people don't like it when you stare. Also I never really knew how touchy you are." He says while continuing looking into my eyes.

'_Ugh! I thought if he talked I would be able to look away. Goddamnit! Why the fuck can't I look away? I have stared into his eye millions of times and had to break away but it's never been this fucking difficult! I feel like I'm going to be sick.'_

"Y-you kno-know damn w-well Fatass that I-I umm… I…uhhh didn't j-jump you on pur-pose."

'_DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK? Great now I'm stuttering. What am I, __Jimmy now? I don't know whether or not it's the fact that I'm on top of him and are faces are so damn close or that he's staring me in the eyes but I'm getting butterflies in my stomach. Weak dude!'_

"Wow Kalh, aren't we a bit nervous huh?" He says while his smirk gets larger. "Something wrong?"

_'Just look at his eyes. God sometimes I hate myself but come on, there just...so perfect. Their brown but their like a creamy chocolate color. They're not too dark but still not too light. They're just perfect.'_

_'Every time I look into these Goddamn eyes I feel a bit light headed, all my muscles tense and sometimes I get these Goddamn fucking butterflies. It's not a bad feeling though, not even close.'_

"Kahl?" He says.

_'Wait a fucking minute! Is that...concern I see in his eyes? No, it couldn't be. Who am I kidding? He would be happy if I was dead. It hurts me to admit it but it's true and I know that, no matter how much I wish it wasn't, it still true.'_

I shift a little and try to move both of my arms because they were set in an uncomfortable position on top of him from the angle we fell. One of my arms move along his chest and I can feel his muscles through his jacket. Then I move my other arm that was on top of his bicep.

_'Oh. My. God.'_

My heart skips a beat then starts to accelerate inside my chest. My heart was already racing from when I first realized that it was Cartman I landed on. Now it's beating twice as fast on top of the already fast pace.

_'I can feel his fucking muscles through his jacket and shirt. His arm feels so strong. God that's such a turn on. If he wanted to he could take full advantage of my weak and fragile body. Hmmm. He could hold me down and do whatever he wanted to do with me. He could rape me if he so pleased and if I tried to put up a fight I'd be fighting a losing battle. Though fighting would be the last thing I'd do in that situation. Would it even be considered rape if I'd be enjoying it, moaning and begging for more? Doubt it.'_

_'WAIT. Whoa back up. Stop thinking like that or your gonna have a little problem Kyle. Just stop thinking about his muscles. Don't think about one of you're hands on his hard and tough chest or the other one on that strong and powerful arm that could make him so dominating. __Dude, imagine if he had a whip, his blows would be so fucking hard!'_

_'Oh man don't tell me I'm a masochist. Would I enjoy Cartman beating me? Hmm. Well, it sure sounds better him beating me than someone else. Before he would do that though he would chain me up to his bed with some handcuffs probably. Then he'd get a whip and start to punish me for being "a no good Jew," as he'd say it.'_

_'Oh no, I just had to keep thinking about that and now I'm getting fucking hard. Shit. What the hell am I supposed to do?'_

"Nnn" I let out a strange sound and bit my lower lip while trying to look away from his eyes but they wouldn't even budge. When that didn't work I tried to think about nothing and just stare back at him and just let out a long sigh.

He sighs back imitating my own. I can feel his warm breath from his sigh hit onto my own pair of lips. Him doing that was just too much for me.

_'Goddamnit! What do I do? Okay lets think about this, where is my crotch area? Is it even touching him?'_

I move my legs a little and sure enough I find the answer to my question.

_'AHHHH! My crotch is on his lower stomach! Any second he's going to be able to feel the tightening in my pants. I just had to be the short one out of the two of us. Why couldn't I be like him, were his crotch is touching me at all?'_

_'It's okay Kyle, just say something then maybe he'll reply by say something that will totally turn you off. He's an asshole, it should work.'_

"I uhh...Im s-sorry for umm...you know, f-for falling on you and all."

"Leave it to the Jew to not be able to handle being pushed around a little. Kahl learn to take a beating and stop being such a fucking pussy all the time!"

_'A beating. A beating from Eric Cartman. Mhmm...'_

_'NOT HELPING! That did not help at all, that just made this situation worse. Okay I can feel my little problem growing in my pants. He's gonna feel it any freaking second now. This is all his damn eyes fault, if I could just look away this wouldn't be such a problem.'_

_'It's okay, all I have to do is simply move my legs so my groin isn't touching him any longer. __Oh no! I can't feel my legs. I can't move them at all! His perfect eyes have temporarily paralyzed me from the waist down! Fuck, fuck, fuck.'_

_'Why God, I try to be a good person and then you do this to me? Why? Please just get me out of this mess. I don't care if this day gets even shittier just please get me out of this. Ill try to be a better person hone-'_

"Okay class now get to yo-what the hell is everyone looking at?" Mr. Garrison asks while making his way into his classroom.

_'Praise Moses!'_

"KYLE BROFLOVSKI, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING TO ERIC?" Mr. Garrison asks me in front of his whole Junior homeroom class.

"I uhh, I fell." I say while still, for what's felt like forever, looking into Cartman's eyes.

"Ugh! Well, for heaven sake Kyle get off him and go back to your seat." He says. I can hear him turn and make his way back to his desk even though I can't see him because of Cartman's eyes. Then he says, "Fag!", quietly but loud enough for me to hear. Cartman must have heard it to because as soon as he said that Cartman stopped staring into my eyes and glared at Mr. Garrison.

_'Ahh! Finally! He finally looked away! Hmm he looks like he really didn't like that comment Mr. Garrison said. Whatever I'm used to it by now, thanks to him anyway.'_

I look up and around to see everyone in the whole classroom staring at us. Some people are wearing more of a shocked expression then others. Some of my classmates are so shocked that there jaws dropped leaving their mouths wide open. I look and see Stan and Kenny standing right next to each other. Both of them have parted mouths and eyes slightly bugged out. With that facial expression, they also show slight worry and concern. Probably because they know that I like Cartman. I told them both few months ago right before the school year started. It was really hard for me to tell them but I finally did.

***Flashback***

"Thanks guys for coming over here." I say while I open the front door to let them in. "Nobody knows you guys are here right?"

I watch Kenny, Stan and then...Butters walk into my house. I then closed the door behind them.

I make some kind of groan noise and say, "Guys? What the fuck? I thought I told you guys to come alone and to not to tell anyone you came here. What the hell Butters doing here?"

"Well, uhh sorry Kyle but my parents are gone out of town and they told me if I didn't have the house clean when my parents got back they'd ground me and we all know me. I'm just no good and uhh well I don't want to be grounded. So right now I'm staying at Stan's because Eric wouldn't let me stay at his house." Butters tries to explain to me.

"Don't feel bad Butters, Fatass hasn't let anybody spend the night at his house since middle school. Probably because his moms never home anymore and he only lets chicks over so he can fuck them. I mean look at me, we probably think alike when it comes to girls. Committed relationships are pointless. Look at Stan and Wendy's old relationship. Hell, they probably will be back together tomorrow and then the same shit will happen and then five minutes later they'll break up again. It's just a repeating cycle. Tell me Stan, how much action do you actually get?" Kenny says, being his perverted self.

"Kenny! Its none of your business. Im the only one of us that actually tries to get a girlfriend anyway. This doesn't matter anyway, we aren't here for me." Stan replies.

"Im just saying that he never has us over, hell none of us are even allowed to go into his house. He claims it's 'boring' but he's the most spoiled one out of all of us. He has the most video games and the best food. He probably has a chick there right now. Some are not even hard to get. He's not the thinest or most attractive boy ever but if he wanted action he could easily get some. While the rest of you losers stick with girls you have spend money on and give them all your attention 24/7, the rest of us smart guys like myself and probably Cartman have a different girl every night."

I felt my heart drop when Kenny was just talking about Cartman sleeping with multiple girls. Even if he was sleeping with one girl, the though still makes my heart ache.

"Umm anyway, let's get back on topic. Butters will you stay down here for like two minutes while I talk to Stan and Kenny upstairs for a second?" I asked him while still not trying to sound too rude.

"Oh hamburgers! Stan told me you were going to tell us all a big secret. Uhh I guess so fellas, but can I at least watch some TV?"

"Kyle come on, just bring Butters. He's upset because some girl he asked out just blocked his number and he really does needs some cheering up." Stan told me.

"Yeah, come on Kyle. It's only Butters. Plus a four way is so much better than a three way Kyle." Kenny added. I noticed that Stan and I both rolled our eyes at the same time at Kenny's pervertedness.

"Well, okay but you ne-WAIT! Butters? Hell no! He was the one who told Cartman I was gay and then Cartman told everyone else. Nope, not a chance in hell! Sorry Butters but you have to stay down here."

"Oh well Kyle that wasn't my fault, honest. Eric told me to tell him what happened at the sleepover and I told him that that all of us fellas plus like some of the other fellas in our class were there and that all we did was play video games and watch a movie. Oh and how Stan brought out some alcohol and then everyone fell asleep besides the four of us because Kyle didn't drink and you two are used to having that amount of alcohol in your systems. I didn't drink but only because if my parents found out, well they would ground me you guys."

"Butters you still told Cartman." I manage to squeeze in before he kept talking about stuff we all already knew.

"Yeah well he asked what the four of us fellas did and I just told him how we talked and shared some secrets. Then he asked if Kyle said anything and I told him that I said I wouldn't tell anyone so I couldn't tell him. Then he said he was going to go and tell my parents I was drinking at Stan's and to look in the Marsh's trashcan outside if they didn't believe him. And well Kyle they were going to ground me so I had to tell him."

"Yeah Butters but he's just going to keep blackmailing you because that's just the asshole he is." It's true, so I told him that.

"But Kyle he doesn't know I'm here so I won't tell him a word. I promise"

"Goddamnit" I mutter as I start walking toward the stairs to my bedroom. Once inside, I wanted to just cut to the chase and get the whole thing over with. So I prepared myself for just coming out with it. "Okay guys promise to never tell another soul. This doesn't leave this room, got it Butters?"

"Yeah, yeah just tell us Kyle. I have a date to be inside some chick at five so make this quick." Kenny says.

"Ugh, okay. Well, guys last time the four of shared secrets I told all of you guys I was gay right? For me to realize I was gay I found that I had a crush on a guy. I still like this guy but I'm not really sure if it's still a crush. I realized I had a crush on him all the way back in middle school but Im pretty sure that's when I just realized it because for my whole life I had strong feelings for him but I was too young and naive to realize exactly what I felt for him back then."

"Dude Kyle that's great! I'm happy that you feel that way about someone." Stan said.

"Kyle, I'm flattered. I don't roll that way anymore. I was bi at the beginning of high school but slutty girls are so much easier and more fun in bed. But I guess if you wanna mess around a little I'll be willing to do that for a friend." Kenny finishes, then winks at me. I can tell he was joking when he said the first sentence but was serious about the last three.

"Okay well anyway, my whole life I've had strong feelings for this guy but a couple of years ago I realized that those strong feelings were something else. I couldn't keep that to myself any longer and now you know who it is." After I say this no one talks for a few seconds.

"Uhh, Stan?" Kenny asks.

"Is it Kenny?" Stan asks right after Kenny.

"Butters!" Butter screams.

_'God, the older we get the more annoying this kid gets.'_

"No, no, no. It's not any of you guys." I inform them.

"Okay let me guess. Hmm someone that you used to have strong feelings for and now its something else. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dude! HAHAHA! No fucking way! I so called it. I knew that it was only a matter of time HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kenny roar out with laughter for the whole damn neighborhood to hear him.

"Dude who is it?" Stan asks Kenny very confused.

"Okay Stan just guess. Who did I say that Kyle will one day end up with before he even told us he was gay and you kept saying that would never happen. HAHAHA. And look where we are now! HAHA."

"Who have we known basically are whole lives? Craig? Clyde? Tweek? Token?" Stan asks, skipping over the obvious.

"No, Stan. Kyle said he used to have strong feelings for him. Think of all the guys Kyle has had strong feelings for in his life, good or bad, just think. The answer is right in front of you."

"Well, what about Eric fellas? Kyle hates him, doesn't he?" Butters asks.

"Bingo." Kenny says then turns to me and gives me a playful smirk with an added wink.

"My mind totally skipped over Fatass because he's such an asshole, especially to you Kyle. He's the biggest asshole in all of South Park, hell the world. Please tell me it's someone else Kyle, anyone but Cartman." Stan begs me.

"I agree with you Stan, Cartman is the biggest asshole in the world but I don't know, it kind of just happened. Trust me I don't like it anymore than you do but there's nothing I can do about it. When the thought of me possibly liking him occurred I was in denial for a long time but I finally came to terms with it." I let Stan know.

"Damn that's fucking hot! With all that tension between you two all these years, you guys are going to have some great sex!" Kenny says being totally serious.

"Ha whoa Kenny this is just a one way thing. His feeling could never be returned. Fatass is never to hear of this conversation anyway. Right Butters?"

"Yes, sir!" Butter exclaims.

"Dude Kyle, you know with all the tension between you guys, you know with 'hating' each other the past years, are you sure this isn't just a lust thing or something?" Stan questions while turning a little green.

"Yes, I'm sure. I thought of that before but I care about him too much for it to be just lust. If it was, life would be so much easier for me. He is always hurting my feeling by the stuff he says." I say then look around at the other two boys than back to him. "Are you okay Stan? You look like your gonna be sick."

"Uh huh. Just the thought of you two...like together and all is just...ugh! At first I thought it was a joke. Please just tell me 'got you' now."

"Well, thanks." A say sarcastically. "It doesn't matter anyway because me liking Fatass doesn't mean we will ever be together."

***End of Flashback***

I look back at Cartman who is still looking around at all the students staring at us. I then get back onto my feet.

_'Thank you so much for sending in Mr. Garrison, God. Though it was at the last possible second and Cartman almost felt the problem I was having by the bulge in my pants, thanks.'_

Once on my feet I don't bother to look back at Cartman and instead walk over to my seat and sit down. I look at the clock and calculate that I was probably on top of Cartman for a good three minutes.

_'Damn! That was by far the longest three minutes of my life.'_

I look down at the folded paper in my hand. My curiosity brings me to unfold it to see who I name I drawn.

The paper says 'Bebe Stevens'. The biggest slut in all of North Park High School. She's even worse then Kenny McCormick and that's defiantly saying something. She's asked me out a few times and when she found out I was gay she asked if she could "help me become straight" or told me "I just haven't slept with the right girl yet." I am still a virgin so hearing her say crap like that makes me very uncomfortable but she seems to not notice or doesn't really care. She asked me the other day if she could help "steer me in the right direction." I don't want to know what she'll start asking me if she finds out I was the one who gave her a few good complements.

_'God-fucking-damnit! __This day couldn't get anymore shittier.'_

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><p><strong>Why Bebe Stevens you might ask, well in some future chapters she'll help Kyle and Cartman's relationship grow...in an odd way.<strong>

**VIEW MY PROFILE. The photo on it is exactly what is described at the beginning of this chapter!**

**So what did you think? Let me know. (:**


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